Embrace The Chaos

I do not have any tattoos.  It's not that I don't like them, it's just that if I'm going to get one, I want it to mean something.  I think if I were to get one today, it would say "Embrace the Chaos."  I like order.  I like everything in it's right place.  I try to keep my kitchen organized, my bed made and my desk clean.  As much as I love things to be organized, however, I still have stacks of boxes in some rooms.  I have a bookshelf that is super cluttered and has been for years.  So how can this be?  How can I be super obsessed about the toilet paper roll being hung up the right way (tissue behind the roll pointing down) and yet let dishes pile up in my sink for a week? 

It's because I have learned to embrace the chaos.

Or maybe I should say it is a work in progress.  But I had to learn years ago that I cannot control everything.  Which is a bummer for a guy like me to realize.  Most people who like things super organized are like that because they want to control everything.  Or at least control what they can.  It gives them a sense of peace, confidence, accomplishment and most of all safety.  But it's a false safety.  And it is a safety that we often use an excuse to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. 

The only way for someone who is a little OCD like me to deal with the fact that I can't control everything is to let go completely.  I mean, really let go and just accept the fact that I'm not in control.  Life is going to get messy sometimes.  The dishes are going to pile up.  You are going to spill things.  And someone might even come into your life and force you to change your routine.  You have to be ready for that or you will never truly experience the greatest joys of life.

I spent a lot of years pushing people and opportunities away because they would cause too much of a "mess" in my perfectly organized life.  When I looked all around me and noticed the people who were really living, I noticed their lives had a significant amount of chaos in them.  I use to feel sorry for these people, but now I'm starting to understand the magic of chaos.  The point is you can't live your life in a perfectly organized box and expect there to be adventure and inspiration as well.  If you want to live an inspired life, then you have to be willing to get messy sometimes.  You have to realize that you can't control everything.  You have to let go, open your mind and dive in.  And I promise, if you make the decision to do so, you will start to enjoy the craziness because the craziness means you are living.

To live a truly inspired life, you have to let go.  If you feel like you are missing out on something, it is only because you are holding on so tight to your perfectly little organized life.  Adventure awaits.  Get ready to get messy.

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How To Look Forward To Tomorrow

As far back as I can remember, I have always struggled with looking forward to tomorrow.  I am constantly trying to draw out today as long as I can because I am always dreading the things I have to do the next day.  And as you might guess, this can lead to a lot of bad habits.  Instead of going to bed at a reasonable time, I stay up all night eating junk food and watching movies.  I will do anything I can to keep the "dream" alive and not "give up" and go to bed.  To those more well adjusted folk out there, this may sound like crazy talk.  Who doesn't know to go to bed early so they can rise early and refreshed?

This guy, that's who.

And I know I'm not alone.  I know there are many of us out there.  Sometimes we call ourselves "Night Owls" but really we are just afraid to go to sleep.  Going to sleep is like giving up.  Going to sleep means we have to get up in the morning and do it all over again.  It seems like too much to bear.  Tomorrow feels like too much work and we want to avoid it as long as possible.  I've been this way since I was a little kid.  I think most kids don't want to go to bed.  They feel like they are missing out on all the fun stuff if they go to bed before the adults.  Most people grow out of this as they get older.  And some don't.  Some never stop feeling like they are missing out on something by going to bed early.

I often wonder how many more people would struggle with this if they didn't have a job that made them get up early.  I mean, you won't keep a job for long if you keep showing up when you want to.  I have almost always worked for myself.  Being a musician, all my "jobs" are at night, so I am blessed with the gift of setting my own morning schedule.  This is both a blessing and a curse, however, because no one is there to make me get up at 8 am.  I can sleep until noon if I want to.  Sounds like heaven, right?  And don't get me wrong, it is awesome in a lot of ways.  But you also become your own worst enemy because you start sleeping in every day and suddenly you aren't getting anything done.  You know you need to get up earlier, but then the next morning comes and you keep deciding to sleep in.  It's madness, really.  How do we overcome this?  How do we get to the place where we aren't fearing tomorrow but looking forward to it?  How do we become so excited about tomorrow that we can't wait to get up in the morning?

After years of soul-searching, I have found these are the 6 keys to help me look forward to tomorrow and to get up and seize the day!

1.  Excitement for what I want to do must outweigh the dread for what I have to do

This is the hardest one but the most important.  We all have things we have to do that we don't want to do.  But if our life is filled with those tasks only, we are going to get burned out very fast.  It is really important that we have a clear picture of what we want to do with our lives.  We need to find our true calling, our purpose, that thing that we were put on this earth to do.  Then we need to have concrete goals that we are working to achieve.  If we can get laser-focused on the things we want to achieve in life, then we can get up every day with an excitement to take another step closer to those goals.  If you don't know what your one thing is yet, I would strongly urge you to do some soul-searching.  It is out there, you just have to find it.  And once you do, your life will change forever!

2.  Must overcome the "Dread of the Physical"

It is crucial that we take good care of ourselves.  We need to eat right and exercise daily.  We all know this, but a lot of us don't do it and then wonder why we have no energy or why we are depressed.  When you don't eat well, you don't feel well and then everything becomes harder because your body is tired, achy and lacking the nutrition it needs to function well.  It is crucial you treat your body right.  If you do, then you will be excited to get up and conquer the day!

3.  Must overcome the "Fear of the Physical"

This one is very closely linked to number two.  If you are not taking good care of yourself, fear can start to creep in and take over.  We start to worry more about our health when we are not taking good care of ourselves and this uses up so much energy.  It also causes a lot of unnecessary stress and can make us want to just stay in bed all day.  But if you are eating well and exercising, you can feel good that your body is healing and doing the things it needs to do to stay healthy and these fears are destroyed.

4.  Must have a clean and comfortable nest

Clean your house!  I did an article about how to overcome negativity (you can read it by clicking here) and one of the steps in that article was also to clean your house.  This is so often overlooked yet so important to our happiness and mental well being.  We need a comfortable nest.  We need to get up in the morning and know we will be in an environment that is clean and organized.  When we live in a mess, our lives become a mess.  So clean your house and be proud of your nest!

5.  Must have strong relationships

John Donne said it best - "No man is an island."  Human beings are not meant to live alone in solitude.  We are social creatures.  And I get it, some of us are introverts.  I know I am.  I love being alone most of the time.  But I have learned that I cannot be alone all the time.  I need good people in my life.  I need love.  And I need to be needed by others.  We all do.  We all need people that we can't wait to interact with.  This can be family, friends or even just acquaintances we enjoy at work.  This can even include pets.  We just need someone we can't wait to get up and love and know they will love us back.

6.  Must have music

Of course, I am going to drop this one in there.  But it is really true for me and I think most people.  Music is amazing.  It's a game changer.  And if you haven't tuned in to how much music can change your life, you maybe haven't found the right music yet.  Keep exploring until you find the soundtrack of your soul.  It's worth it.  Some days it is only the excitement of the music I get to listen to that gets me out of bed.  Music is powerful.  And it will always be there waiting to help you get your day started.

Don't give up my friend.  There is a path for you.  Tomorrow should be a blessing, not a curse.  Us "Night Owls" just need to find our own path to that blessing.  It's there.  Right in front of you.  Just like tomorrow, it is waiting for you to discover it's beauty.  So go to bed because a world of opportunity is waiting for you!  See you tomorrow!

P.S.  I have a playlist called Smooth Jazz Piano's Best that is one of my go-to's when I am struggling and need some music to lift me up!  It's full of fun, groovy and inspiring smooth jazz that I think you would really enjoy!  Hit the button below to get the playlist now.  Don't worry, it's totally free!

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Never Stop Fighting

I just got done watching the movie "The Beaver?"  Have you seen it?  It is a quirky and interesting movie starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster and some others.  The basic premise of the movie is that a highly depressed CEO (Mel Gibson) finds help and motivation from a beaver puppet through which he communicates to the world.  I know, kind of weird.  But it is actually a pretty good movie.  One of the big takeaways from the movie is the idea that what if everything isn't going to be okay?  Meaning, some of us may always struggle with depression or other mental illnesses.  It may just be in our DNA and there is nothing we can do it about that.  The good news is, however, you don't have to struggle alone.  If you have people who love you in your life, you'll be okay as they can help you through the hard times.

Do I 100% agree with this analysis?  I don't know.  Honestly, I often wonder the exact same thing.  Maybe we are predisposed to what our mental health will be for the rest of our lives.  But one thing I do know is that there is still something we can do about it.  We can fight.  Everyday we can get up and decide to fight for ourselves, fight for our mental health, fight for positivity in our lives.  We still have the freedom of choice and we can choose how we want to feel everyday.  Maybe happiness comes easier to some than others, that may be true.  But we all have the opportunity to choose the pursuit of joy, peace and contentment.  That much I do know.

I also totally agree with the movie that we don't have to do it alone.  We are surrounded by loving, caring humans who believe in us.  Even when we don't believe in ourselves.  We need to embrace these relationships with our friends, families, co-workers and even casual acquaintances.  And if we don't have enough of these loving people in our lives, then it is our duty to go out and find them.  They are there you just have to go out and create relationships with them.  I have certainly had times in my life where I felt alone and I felt like loneliness was my destiny.  But then I realized that was a lie I was telling myself.  I deserve to be happy.  I deserve to have loving relationships.  All I have to do is get up, go out, find these people and get them in my life.  And what do you know, it turns out I wasn't alone after all!

The bottom line is even if we struggle with depression, we still can find happiness.  Get up and choose to pursue happiness.  Embrace the love that is all around you.  And most importantly, never stop fighting.  As long as we never give up fighting, we win!

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How To Beat Racism

I cannot remember a time in my life when racial tensions were as high in this country as they are now.  In some ways it's good.  At least we are talking about racism again instead of pretending it doesn't exist anymore.  But it is also frustrating, sad and a heavy burden that most of us feel on a daily basis.  We want this problem to just go away but it's never that simple.  As long as people have free choice, racism will exist in some capacity.  It's hard to know what we as individuals can do to help.  How can one person affect change on a national scale?  It seems overwhelming and impossible, but that's not true.  There are many things that we as individuals can do to beat racism.

The first thing we need to do is stop giving attention to those who seek it.  The KKK, neo-nazi's and white supremacists love to make a lot of noise and we love to respond with louder noise.  We feel like it's our duty to get in their face and show them how wrong they are.  We are angry and we feel like we can't just sit by and do nothing.  But what if we did.  What would happen if at the next white supremacist gathering there was no protest.  No press.  No attention.  What if nobody showed up to yell at them?  Imagine them having their assembly in peace.  What affect would they have on the world then?  Not much because no one would care.  We give them the attention they want by protesting and yelling.  We rev them up with our shouting and the next thing you know someone is driving their car into the crowd.  And for what?  What was accomplished by all of it?  The white supremacists get the attention they want and we lose another innocent person in the process.

I know this is an unpopular opinion.  How can you just sit by and do nothing?  Don't you care?  Aren't you worried they will take over the world if we don't resist?  First of all, I do care.  Quite a bit.  But I am not worried about them taking over the world.  I trust mankind.  I trust our human nature.  I trust that love always wins.  I trust my neighbors, my friends and my family.  I know that the many who love far outweigh the few who hate.  There is no possible way they can take us over.  All they can do is yell and scream and beg for attention.  And I refuse to give it to them.  See, they don't matter to me.  At all.  Their message is filled with stupidity and I have no time for stupid things.  I only have time to focus on things that matter.  I only have time to focus on those around me.  Love my neighbors.  Spend time with my friends and family.  Teach the next generation how to love by showing them, not by screaming it at them. 

That is how we win.  We ignore their ignorance.  We refuse to play into their need for attention.  Instead we choose to love them.  We choose to love our neighbors, our community, our friends and our famliy.  And we love our children and show them the true power of that love.  There will always be another group of ignorance trying to make the loudest noise.  We need to stop wasting our time trying to be louder and start living the kind of lives that will truly change the world.

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How To Be Happy

Ok I know the title of this blog post is a little big.  Really dude?  In 500 words you are going to tell us how to be happy?  Isn't that what millions of people have been trying to figure out for centuries?  Scholars have scholarred.  Poets have poetted.  And now you just finally cracked the code, huh?

Well, in so many words.  Yes.

Life is hard.  And not only is life hard, people are harder.  People have to become hard as stone to survive.  If we were all soft and sensitive, the human race would have been extinct years ago.  Life throws us a lot of curve balls.  People get hurt.  People get sick.  People die.  People get screwed over.  It happens everyday.  And in order to survive, these same people have to toughen up.  We learn from the pain that we need to be more careful next time.  We need to protect ourselves and our emotions, so we start building our emotional wall.  (To learn how to break through this wall, see my article called How To Break Through Your Emotional Wall).

The biggest thing we do to protect our emotions and to fortify our wall, is we become bitter.  We become very cynical of the people and the world around us.  In order to make sure we aren't hurt again, we make fun of everything before it can effect us.  We call Hallmark movies "cheesy."  We make fun of simple love songs and call them "lame."  Anyone trying to change us is obviously trying to sell something or they are "full of it."  No one is genuinely happy, right?  It's not possible.  If you are overweight, then that's just the way it is.  You can't lose weight.  If you are broke, then that's just the way it is.  You can't get out of debt.  And if you are unhappy, then that's life.  Life is hard and we are meant to be unhappy.  Aren't these the messages we hear everyday?  No wonder so many people are popping pills for depression.  We live in a bitter, cynical society that tells us nothing is possible.

Here's the thing.  These are all lies. 

People who are saying these statements are lying to you.  They may not know it, but they are.  They can't see the truth anymore through all the bitterness fog.  Cynicism has made them blind to joy.  There is only one cure for this disease of bitterness that is spreading through our society: 

We have to stop being cynical. 

That's it.  That is how to be happy.  Stop being cynical.  And here's why.  Once you turn off the cynicism, you give yourself permission to feel again.  You are telling yourself that it's okay to let go of the fear and to open up again.  You don't have to call Hallmark movies "cheesy" anymore.  It's okay to like love songs again.  You are giving yourself permission to embrace every guilty pleasure you have every experienced.  You are allowing yourself to believe again.

How amazing would that be?  You can stop your cynical cycle today and give yourself permission to feel again.  Let the emotion wash over you.  Feel it.  Sing it.  Love it.  The power you have inside of you is amazing and all it comes down to making a choice.  You can choose this everyday but you have to commit yourself to fighting the army of bitterness marching all around us.  It's everywhere.  Screaming at you and making fun of you.  But who cares what miserable people think anyway?  I choose to be happy.  I choose to feel.  I choose to believe.  I choose to not give into my cynicism anymore.  I'm free.  Finally.  Won't you join me?

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How To Overcome Negativity: Six Steps

Negativity is like a leach.  It grabs a hold of you, never letting go, and continues to suck the life right out of you.  Once it gets a hold of you, it is really hard to shake it off.  We spend our time thinking "What is wrong with me?" instead of "I am a human being.  Life is hard.  How do I pull myself out of this?"  That's why it so important to have a plan in place to get you out of the negativity cycle.  When the dark thoughts come knocking, you will be prepared to knock back.  Here are six steps that I have found to be super useful in fighting off negativity.

1.  Do something about it.

I know this sounds obvious and overly simple, but so many times we think we are powerless to fight back.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  All you need is a plan.  There is something really empowering just knowing that you can take action and find peace and positivity again.  So as soon as the negativity starts to overtake you, ask yourself "What event or thought started this negative thinking?  What needs to change so I can start feeling better about myself and my life again?"  Once you have these answers, you can sit down and make a plan to change the thoughts or behaviors that need to change.  And here's the most important part of any plan:  action!  Once you have your plan, take action!

2.  Reprogram your thoughts.

Negativity is mostly brought on by our thoughts.  It is this simple: change your thoughts from negative to positive, and you are all set.  Sounds easy, right?  Of course, it is not that easy.  We are so programmed to focus on the negative.  I do this all the time.  I will play a show for people who are clapping and telling me they loved it.  I, however, will leave that night and focus only on the one note I messed up or how I forgot the words to a verse.  I have all but forgotten all the nice compliments I received.  We all do it.  But the good news is, we also have the power to change this.  So whenever you are focusing on a negative thought, remind yourself to change that thought to something positive.  You have to actually force yourself to do it.  Start thinking about all you have accomplished that day.  Or all the people who love you.  Whatever it is, the more you train yourself to make that switch, the faster it will start to happen on its own.  It takes time, but eventually, the positive thoughts will become your default.

3.  Share with a close friend.

You are never alone.  Sometimes just sharing what you are going through with a friend can totally lift the burden you are carrying.  It's amazing how often we think we can just fix our problems all by ourselves or we think we don't want to bother someone.  But that is exactly what we were created to do.  We were made to love and support each other, so don't hesitate.  Call a friend and let them help.

4.  Take care of yourself.

The first thing to go when we are feeling negative is nutrition.  We don't want to eat kale when we are depressed, we want to eat warm, cheesy pizza.  We want comfort food.  And although the occasional indulgence can be comforting, what our body really needs is the nutrients and phytochemicals to fight the negativity inside us and lift our mood.  If we focus on eating lots of green veggies and raw nuts and seeds, these foods can do wonders for our mood.  Drink lots of water and let your body reset.  It's also really important to get out and move.  Get the blood flowing.  Get some fresh air and sunlight.  I can't tell you how many bad days were instantly turned around by a 20 minute walk outside.  Finish it all off with a good 8 hours of sleep every night.  I know how hard it is to take good care of yourself when you are in a bad place, but we need to remember to love ourselves always.  Even on bad days.

5.  Clean your house

This one might seem a little random, but there is so much peace and joy that comes from cleaing up our surroundings.  Especially our house which is our nest.  It is our fortress of comfort.  And in order for it to be comfortable, it needs to be clean and functional.  Make sure you have good seating and a comfortable bed to sleep on (this is something I am personally working on right now).  There is also an overwhelming sense of accomplishment when you clean up something that was a mess.  It makes us feel like we are cleaning up the mess in our minds as well.  Everything is in its right place again.  Everything is right with the world again.  With a clean house, you can finally have a clean mind.

6.  Believe

Finally, none of this will work if you don't believe that it can.  You have to turn off your bitterness and believe that you can change your thoughts.  If you don't think change is possible, then negativity will settle in and take over.  But if you allow yourself to dream and believe that you are made to be happy, then you can take the steps necessary to make that dream a reality!  An amazing life of positivity awaits you.  The choice is yours.

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How To Break Through Your Emotional Wall

Remember when you were a kid and something made you sad and you had no problem telling the world about it?  It was now your duty to make sure the whole world knew just how sad you were.  You would throw a tantrum, looking out of the corner of your eye to make sure everyone was watching.  And if one person was not paying attention, then you would cry just a little bit louder.  Nothing else in the world mattered except making sure people knew that you were sad.  When did that change?  It's amazing how emotionally healthy we really are when we are kids.  When something hurts, you tell someone.  When you are sad, you feel the pain and cry until you feel better.  Only later in life do we learn to stifle our emotions.  In attempts to appear strong, confident or brave, we work really hard to make sure people think we never hurt.  The real effect of this is that we don't acknowledge the emotion to ourselves either.  If we allow ourselves to feel the emotion, we won't be able to contain ourselves and then the world will know we are weak.

What happened to our emotional health?

So many adults live in a quiet desperation.  Happy on the outside and miserable on the inside.  And then we see how happy everyone else is and think there is something wrong with us which makes us more miserable.  What do we do with all this misery?  We shove it down our throats into the depths of our soul and hope it never comes out to play again.  We bury it in a pile of sugar and cheese, we wash it down with beer and vodka, we try to suffocate it with cigarette and weed smoke, and if none of that does the trick, there is a whole pharmacy available to us with legal and illegal options to finish it all off.  We are so desperate to not have to face our inner emotions that we spend thousands of dollars trying to avoid it, even though it is just going to be there again tomorrow.  It is an insane cycle that many of us find ourselves stuck in.

How do we break through the emotional wall?

The problem is we all live in fear.  We are scared that if we face our emotions head on and break through that wall, all we will find on the other side is a life of sadness and misery.  A life where we can't function normally.  A life that is worse than the one we are living now.  We feel like if we tap into our sadness, we will never be able to turn it off again.  But this could not be further from the truth.

The answer is to be brave, stand up, take a deep breath and face those emotions head on.  Let yourself feel every bit of sadness.  Break down the wall and let yourself cry for as long as it takes.  Feel it.  Own it.  Let it in.  And eventually an amazing thing happens - you realize that this is the worst it can get.  The crying, the sadness; it doesn't get any worse.  And if it doesn't get any worse, then it can only get better.  And I promise you this...

IT WILL GET BETTER!

But only if you are willing to face these emotions once and for all.  To let go of the fear and go all in.  And remember, you are not alone.  Your friends, your family, and I am here to help you through the hard part.  We are so ready to grab a sledge hammer and help you break down that wall.  All you have to do is ask.  And I promise, if you do that, if you stand up, take a deep breath and start breaking down that wall, what awaits you on the other side is a life of total freedom.

P.S. If you found this helpful and would like more of this in your inbox every week, CLICK HERE and sign up for our weekly motivational emails!

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The Formula For Success

The internet is full of liars.  Some are telling huge lies like "We can show you how to lose 60 pounds in just seven days!" or "Become the next marketing guru for only $19.95/mo!"  Some are telling little white lies like only showing the amazing photos from their last vacation on Facebook.  Where are the photos of when your car broke down or when little Timmy had a hissy fit at the Grand Canyon?  We all do it to some extent.  We have been telling lies since the beginning of time and surely we are not going to completely stop now.  After giving this some thought, however, I think there are two main motivations for telling lies on the internet:

1.  To make people like us
2.  To make money

The first one is a basic human need.  We need to be loved, desired and respected.  Instead of assuming people will just like us for how awesome we are, we start telling people what they want to hear.  We embellish the details of our stories to make people look up to us.  To make people say "Wow!  This guy is amazing!"  And if they think we are amazing, they will like us.  Right?  I have been guilty of this in the past.  But as I get older, I realize I really want people to like me because they know who I truly am.  They know my true feelings, my values, my victories and my failures and they choose to like me because of all those things.  The people I respect the most, are the ones that are the most transparent and even vulnerable at times.  When we see the humanity in others, that is when we truly connect.  So if you want people to like you, be genuine.  Be honest.  Be vulnerable.  I think the real word is be "authentic."  If you do this, they will follow you anywhere.

The second reason people tell lies on the internet is to make money.  Look, we all like money.  I didn't start Soul Motivation Records to lose money.  It's a business that I want to be financially successful.  There is nothing wrong with that.  The problem arises when we adopt the mentality of "I will do whatever it takes to make money."  That quickly turns into false promises and misleading advertising all in the name of a quick buck.  But what have you got after the money comes in?  You have a bunch of disappointed customers.  You have been part of the problem and not truly part of the solution.  And what is the point of that?  The way to be truly successful is to offer actual value.  No lies.  No empty promises.  Just deliver real value to people.  It's that simple.  If you want to make money, focus on helping people first and the money will come.  

Now, take these two lessons and add in "consistency" and you have the formula for success.  We can all be genuine when it feels good.  We can all occasionally deliver some value.  But the key is to do these things consistently.  Everyday.  Day after day.  Month after month.  Year after year.

Authenticity + Value + Consistency = SUCCESS

You do not have to be an internet liar.  Show the world who you truly are.  Show them what they can truly be.  And always show up in the first place.  I guarantee you will like the results!

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Treat Yo Self!

I have had the same pair of sandals since 1999.  My mom bought them for me when our family went on a cruise.  They were nothing fancy but they worked.  And they worked great for about eight years.  Then they broke.  I fired back with Gorilla Glue and kept them alive for another eight years!  After sixteen years, they had pretty much had it.  The soles were almost completely coming off.  Every time I took a step, the sole would not come along with me.  So I threw them out then, right?  Wrong.  I continued to wear these sandals every night until June 14th 2017.  You heard me right.  Eighteen years with the same sandals!  Two of those years with completely broken soles.  See, I believed that I couldn't afford new sandals.  I couldn't spring the $20 because it was not important enough.  But the real message I was sending myself was I AM NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH!

Not good.

I've done this with so many things in my life over the years.  I would leave a light bulb that burned out in a lamp for months or years and just deal with the darkness.  I would let the bushes in my yard get way overgrown to where my patio had completely disappeared.  I would sit in broken chairs all day (the chair that I am sitting in right now is still broken.  It's on my list to fix).  All this in the name of being frugal?  What I think was really going on is I felt like I was not worthy of good things.  Man, that sounds messed up to say that out loud.  I don't know where or when that message was planted in my brain, but it's been there a long time.  And my feet have suffered enough!

It's important to be smart with money.  Make a budget, track your expenses, save money for purchases.  Yes do all of that first.  But then, for the love of God, spend some of that money!  Get yourself a pair of new sandals.  You are so worth it!  You are a creation of God.  You are a walking miracle!  Do you realize that?  You are a king (or queen) and you deserve nothing but the best.  If you are telling yourself anything short of that, you are lying to yourself.

I deserve good things.

My new sandals!

It feels great to say that out loud.  I am going to take better care of myself.  First things first, I got some brand new sandals!  They are so great and the soles stay in place!  I now have a list of all the other things in my house and in my life that I am going to fix.  I have another list of all the things I am going to buy.  One by one, I will do all the things on those lists because I deserve it.  Now, I have to go.  I have things to do and sandals to do them in. 

Finally.

Chris Swan
Founder and CEO

P.S.  How are you going to treat yo self sometime soon?  Leave a comment below and let me know!

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How To Stop Making Assumptions

Why do we always assume the worst about people?  Sometimes we don't even realize we do it.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but I always assume people think the worst of me.  I assume people think I am not "cool" or "savvy."  I assume people don't believe in me.  I assume people are laughing at me behind my back.  Now, I am not doing this on purpose.  I am not making a conscious decision to be paranoid.  And I know that these statements are not true.  But these thoughts are the result of years bad programming.  Years of being too hard on myself.  Years of not loving myself.  And even though that has changed dramatically over the past few years, that old programming is still present in my mind.  It lives deep in my subconscious.  It keeps replaying like that really annoying song that gets stuck in your head.  If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, then you know what I'm talking about.

So how do we change this old programming?  How do we eliminate all these lies we keep telling ourselves?  

The answer is you saturate your mind with truth.  

I was determined to not let the negativity overcome me.  So I started doing daily affirmations that spoke truth into my mind.  I started reading books on positivity.  I started listening to podcasts and YouTube videos that would bombard my mind with positivity and motivation.  I started hanging out with positive people.  And over time, the truth was revealed:

I am assuming people have the worst opinion of me.  And this is making me miserable.  It's time for a change.  

So I asked myself "Self, what if I always assumed the best about people?  Or what if I just assumed that everyone loves me?  Or better yet, what if I just assumed that it doesn't really matter what people think?  I can't read people's minds.  That is not my superpower.  So what if I started finding the courage to ask questions?  To stop ASSUMING what people are thinking and start ASKING them!"  

What a concept!  I realized a lot of pain and suffering in my life has come from this one bad habit.  I decided I needed to work on not making assumptions anymore.  I need to have the courage to ask questions and to express what I really want.  What I really need.  And wouldn't you know it, things started to change when I did this.  I started waking up happier.  I started worrying less.  I started finding amazing opportunities right and left.  I started making music again!  The list of changes is endless and I know it isn't finished yet.

Am I fixed?  No.  I am a work in progress for sure.  But I don't think that is the point anyway.  The point is to become aware of the thoughts that are making you miserable and do the work to change them.  And in that work, true happiness is found.  So be strong.  Be confident.  Be honest and you will get the things you want out of life.  The universe told me so. :)

What is the universe telling you right now?  Please share in the comment section below!

Chris Swan
Founder and CEO

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How To Be Perfect

I want to be perfect.  Like really bad.  I want to be a machine.  I want to eat only the perfect foods, exercise every single day without missing a day, and I want my music to be the best music on the planet.  I strive for these things every single day.  And then one day it hit me...

I will never be perfect.

Dangit.  You know how hard that is to hear when you are a perfectionist?  I think I went through all the steps of grieving after realizing this, especially DENIAL.  It took me years to finally believe and understand that I would never be perfect.  But what took me even longer to digest was that it's ok to not be perfect!  It really is.  You can still be great and not be perfect.  As a matter of fact, we are meant to be flawed.  It's what gives us character.  It's what makes us interesting.  And it's what drives us to be better.  Can you imagine a world of only perfect people?  How annoying would that be?!  When you really think about it, that sounds awful.  That is not the world I would want to live in.  So why do I expect myself to be perfect?

Instead of perfection, I strive for greatness.  I strive to learn every day.  To grow every day.  To surround myself with great people every day.  To me, that is perfection.  That IS the world I want to live in.  

So I have learned to forgive myself when I make a mistake.  To laugh when I say something "stupid."  To learn from criticism instead of giving up.  And all these things truly make a perfect life.  And I think that is what I really was striving for all these years anyway.  I love my flaws.  I love the funny little things that make me me.  I love laughing at myself.  And I love the opportunity to grow every day.  I've truly come to love being perfectly imperfect.

Now THAT is perfection. :)

Chris Swan
Founder and CEO

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